Dating is hard when you can’t even get a text back

So the boy you like, doesn’t like you back anymore – big deal right !? Then why do you have crushing anxiety and a serious case of sad feels all wrapped up in a rejection sized sweater.  Ever read the book ‘He’s just not that into you!?’ Well I did, twice, and it’s only now in my thirties that I actually GET IT but that’s after a lot of painful nights waiting for texts, checking instagram followers and being a grade A secret stalker like every bad bitch can be and in some situations should be.

The fact is and will always be ‘If he wanted too, he would’ the same rules apply in 2020 that they did in 1920 – if a man wants you he will find a way to let you know. That’s not to say you have to wait around for them, by all means at this point in our lives we have earnt the right to say to a man that we are not here to play around and vice versa, as an independent woman you can tell that man that you want to keep it c-a-s-u-a-l and its perfectly OK.

Crunch time now, you know you’ll most likely get over it, you could jump back onto Tinder and reply to the boy you’ve been ignoring for two days but its not the one you want to talk to. You had spent days reading and replying funny texts back and forth, at night you stayed up super late just to continue the conversation. That date you went on was so good, you were pretty drunk but it didn’t matter, he said he wanted to see you again.

It’s the waiting for no response that really locks up your insides, the hope when it’s been over 12 hours and he still hasn’t replied that his either been in an accident or his phone battery died . 

So you’re questioning why the conversation dried up and now you’re regretting stopping replying to all the other guys, it’s quite likely one of you is having a day and you need a minute to yourself.

On the other hand, it might have been a hot minute and now someone else is on the scene, you’re probably wondering if you should message him again… but please don’t. Rage texting that he has a mediocre dick and if he was going to put it inside you, he could have the decency to text you that he was no longer interested in doing so again. Feels good in the moment but no so good after, trust me on that one.

No response is a response, and it’s a powerful one. (PSA: wait at least three days to consider it a no response)

Maybe he will think of you in a few days, maybe he will make up some kind of excuse to message you and apologise for being slack. Most likely he will never write again, the awkwardness of not replying in the first place holding him back and then the ding of another match and you will be yesterdays news. The best food for thought is that it doesn’t really matter because you want someone who gives you a thousand yes’s and doesn’t leave you waiting around.

You will tell yourself you’ll learn from this and next time you wont get so drunk on the first date and you definitely wont be putting all your eggs in one basket again. Truth is you do get better at putting your feelings and standards first it just takes a bit of time and a few idiots first.

The best most productive thing you can do for your own sanity and your dignity is to spend some time falling in love with yourself and you can do that in so many little ways. Put on some music and cook yourself a nice meal, watch your favourite girly movie and eat as much chocolate as you want, find your vibrator and give yourself the orgasm he probably couldn’t give you anyway.

So often when we are hurt or disappointed we look to anyone to make us feel better or validated and it can lead to us lowering pour standards little by little each time, instead build yourself up, remember who you are and remind yourself you won’t have to chase the right one.

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